Brilliance, Even By Today's Standards

Ok, so I'm finally going to talk about an NES game, but first let me explain my long and unusual affair with the NES.  As noted in a prior entry my father was something of a computer guru and his distaste for console systems because I suppose they were shitty PC's in their previous generations.  I think my dad assumed that anything the Nintendo could do, his PC would always be able to do better, games being no exception.  My mother of course seemed to think that if I had a Nintendo I'd never leave the house and I'd lose touch with reality or something (I did have a tendency to get frustrated and/or moody when I played video games).  She was probably right, but her logic wasn't exactly anything other than contradictory since she typically planted me in front of the TV most of the time, or go outside where I would probably end up at a friends house playing Nintendo.  Also I couldn't play computer games unless dad was around for the longest time, and I can tell you that I would get many more times frustrated and moody playing shitty dysfunctional old PC games than I ever did playing NES games at a friend or baby sitter's house.  So it was no wonder that most of my friends had a Nintendo when I was younger, and I had a lot of friends so I had my fair share of time with lots of different games.  So you'd think the first game I'd talk about would be Super Mario, and you'd be wrong, the first time I played that shit, I was sitting in a house full of screaming kids (some kind of day care), and everybody had to take turns and nobody was any better than anyone else (which is to say we all sucked shit at playing it), and it wasn't until years later when I got some time alone with that game that I came to appreciate, still can't beat it though.

This game I'm about to talk about is special to me, it captured my imagination, it sang to me in ways I didn't know a game could, and entertained me to no end. Also quite a few of my friends owned it so I got plenty of opportunities to try it out.  My fascination and adoration of this game probably far exceeds that of most people.  So without further adieu I'm going to talk about Blaster Master for a while.

A few features of these game really set it apart from many titles in the NES catalog.  Not to say that there aren't some games that are similar, Guardian Legend comes to mind, even Metroid to a small degree, I'm sure there are others that I'm missing.  However there are a few things about this game that for me changed what platforming/adventure games were about.  The first is it's brilliant quasi non-linear progression.  Having to go back to the very beginning of the game after beating the 3rd level and literally scaling the side of what otherwise would be an impossibly huge obstacle to get to the 4th level and thus allowing you to continue through the game completely turned my world upside down.  I was 5 or 6 when I first saw this game, and with all the shmups, and action adventure games out there at the time I was used to two things, purely linear progression, or linear progression that let you skip levels on the way, and then there was Metroid, but I hated Metroid at that age because it was too fucking hard (and indeed still pretty much is) and I got lost, but Blaster Master clearly outlined it's levels and they were numbered so you knew that you had to progress somehow, but you weren't going to get to level 4 from level 3? What madness is this?!  Another cool feature is the fact that you're pretty much playing two completely different games.  Tank game, and then little guy assaulting the fortress game.  Both of which are immensely entertaining and intertwined.  You gotta use the tank to get from place to place, but you gotta use the little guy to get special weapons for the tank, and fuck up bosses to get upgrades for your tank so you can get further in the game.  I can't think of another game had anything near as cool in terms of features in that particular genre at the time.

 I guess we all know how the pink power ranger spent her free time.

I also want to take the time to discuss the fact that this game is fucking beautiful and has one of the BEST soundtracks any NES game had to offer.  The graphics, sounds, even the enemy behavior was different from one level to the next, even recycled bad guys (what few they recycled) had different ways they would behave in different environments.  The level design is some of the best I can recall ever and probably still easily would make my top 5 if it came down to it.  The game gave you a lot of freedom to move around (more so as you get more upgrades for your tank), but not so much that you'd get lost for hours trying to figure out where to go.

I think I had savings bonds that matured before I ever got to this boss.

I'm not going to lie, this game is pretty fucking tough, not to the point where it's absurd, but it's not easy and it will occupy the better part of a long afternoon if you get serious about beating it.  There's no save feature and you only have 3 continues and 3 lives within each continue to beat the game otherwise it's game over and you have to start over. This game isn't impossible to beat without game genie like say.... the first Ninja Turtles game, but an infinite continues code might make progression through the game a lot more accessible to people who haven't played through it a bunch or had a knack for being good at games in general.  You're going to fucking die, I guarantee it, and unless you're good, you're probably going to hit the game over screen (the opening clip as the game starts) a few times before you make any significant progress through the game (which may mean losing hours of progress if you got really far).  So it's frustrating in that regard because you have to beat the game in one sitting (no save points), and it's not a terribly short game so you have to really pump yourself up to give this a serious play through.  Growing up, nobody I knew beat this game, even my buddy's older brother who was in high school and could be every game ever that you put in front of him.  He got to the last boss and got the bit fat game over slap to the face after dying one too many times.  Oh, another thing, I like how these assholes put the final boss on the cover of the game knowing you probably won't actually see him in the game more than maybe 2 or 3 times in your entire lifetime.  For some guys I grew up with, probably never at all.  One of my buddies and I couldn't get past level 2 EVER.  So when I saw somebody get past that (using a method I'll elaborate on in just a moment), I was already blown away.  The game had a fun flaw where 4 of the bosses you could hit them once with a grenade (required a turbo controller to pull off easily), hit the pause button while they were hit, and it would recount the hit over and over again so that after about a minute of pausing, when you un-paused, said boss was dead.  Quite handy especially since the boss fights in this game were FUCKING BRUTAL.  Taking 4 fights out of the equation really helped, although if someone wants to come forward and tell me that they beat the game and all the bosses without that glitch you win the internetz forever my friend (who does not exist in my world).  Also without a turbo controller (The NES Advantage or that awesome one that had the two buttons below the regular A and B for Turbo A and B) this game is exceptionally difficult.  I managed to beat this game in high school, I sat down with it for about a week, played through to the end with Game Genie (just using infinite lives or continues so I wouldn't get so frustrated I'd break the game).  Eventually I got good enough where I beat the game without game genie entirely but I only did it once and it is not a feat I've been able to recreate to this day.  Unfortunately this led to me burning out on the game really badly and shelving it for years.  I occasionally pop it in and play for like an hour or so until I get frustrated and quit (usually around level 2 or 3, but sometimes as far as 5).  Five is the make or break level for me, the boss is really tough and takes FOREVER to kill, bad enough where my hands will cramp up and I'll have to pause and come back to it after a few tries.  Once he goes down, usually the rest of the game is cake until the last boss.

 I have to dodge fucking bubbles for like 10 years before I can get one shot in...

So you'd think a game as good as this would have a slew of successful clones and sequels, well you'd be dead fucking wrong.  Every sequel has either been complete uninspired crap, or failed to utilize any of the features that made the original such a sensational work of art.  Only very recently did they create a Blaster Master game that followed the formula for success that the original had, it's called Blaster Master Reloaded (or something like that), it's only available for download on Wii Ware.  I highly recommend it, it captures the essence of the original quite well and makes a few much needed improvements (save points, better and more upgrades to not only the tank but the little guy too).  Also has the fun non-linear level design that made the first one so unique to begin with, so good stuff all around.  Only took the fuckers 20 years *sigh*...

Painful, Just don't do it, I promise you'll thank me.

So I fired up the original Blaster Master tonight and took a run at it.  I got to the second boss, but my NES Advantage is fucked up (buttons are sticking *frown*) and I don't have any alternatives at my disposal, so I had to use a regular controller and it was fail fase city.  I couldn't do the cheat, and I didn't have the mad skills to beat him without it tonight, so it was curtains for me and probably for the best otherwise I might still be playing it right now...  It didn't fail me though, the music was as timeless and epic as ever, and it looked just as cool as the first time I ever set eyes on it.  Good show Sunsoft (if you're still around), you made a fine game that will go down in the history books (or at least in the fond memories of this old gamer).

 OH FUCK, OH FUCK, OH FUCK, WHERE'S MY TURBO PAD?!

So there you have it, that's my first of many NES titles I'll be writing about, but for now, I'm going to wrap this up and carry on with my evening.